Wide Awake at Five

by Douglas Chay

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04:09
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04:51
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03:48
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03:45
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00:50

credits

released January 10, 2003

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about

Douglas Chay Baltimore, Maryland

Influences include Violent Femmes, the Velvet Underground & Talking Heads, but the music of his forebears is filtered through his own distinctive world view & sonic approach, resulting in a creation uniquely his own.

Simple without being simplistic, accessible without being sycophantic, & clever without feeling smug, he achieves a compelling balance between the new & the familiar. - Scott Hollis
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Track Name: The Skinniest Woman in the World
I had this dream that you and I were pushing each other from a plane
To give ourselves a thrill
And in this dream our parachutes detached without a sound
As we plummeted to the ground

And you know there's nothing anyone could do
But I feel like I shouldn't have fallen on you

I had this dream that you and I were engaged in sexual intercourse
Oblivious to the world
And in this dream the bomb exploded directly outside our window
And as the flesh slipped from our bones I told a joke

I said, you're the skinniest woman in the world
And you can wear that dress you bought OK
You're the skinniest woman in the world
And I'm the deadest man alive today

I had this dream that you and I were adrift in the middle of the ocean
With no water cept what's in our veins
And in this dream our hunger drove one of us to eat the other
But you didn't want to be the one to die, neither did I

When you're the hungriest woman in the world
You'll eat anything that's living boy or girl
You're the hungriest one in the universe
And I'm in pieces smothered in Worcestershire sauce

I want to feel you with me right now and all over time
I want to feel you in me right now with my mind

Oh yeah, oh yeah, we can be who we are
Oh yeah, oh yeah, we can be like a pretty star
In the sky beyond the clouds
The side of the sun, behind the eyes
Above the dome, beneath the words
And on the curve, below the blue
And under you, and everywhere that you'd think to stare
And no one looks cause they're everywhere
And everyone knows but no one says a word

© 1996 Douglas Chay
All Rights Reserved
ASCAP
Track Name: Cleaning Your Love Slime
My house, my house, still cleaning my house
Your smell is still in my room
My God, you didn't bother using the trash can
Now I'm sweeping it up with a broom

Right now I'll bet you fill your face
With someone else's gross disgrace
No matter how much Lysol I spray
I can't get your crumbs to blow away

Cleaning your love slime, dusting the cold grime
Nothing left of you but your love slime
Scraping your skin bits down with disinfectant
Picking up your lust lint with your love slime

Myself, myself, still scrubbing myself
Can't get rid of this feel
I'm flaking raw red and wishing that your
Love slime weren't so real

I'll bet you've already forgot
another notch upon your cot
Cleaning kitchen can't relieve
the creepy stuff you left for me

Scrubbing your sex dirt, all of this from one flirt?
If there's a punishment it's your love slime
Folding your scum sheets and shredding your receipts
Were you wanting to leave me with your love slime?

You love slime monster, where have you been sleeping?
Turning your key in every door, sending the bugs a-creeping
I see it floating in the air, I taste it in me everywhere
I hear it whisper from afar, it's riding with me in my car
White hard, love lard, frying fat, crud cake
That's all that's left of the love you make

Come out, come out, this spot won't come out
No matter how hard I try
Pouring this box of detergent
All over your love slime

It never ceases to amaze
The ease with which your love betrays
You're like a snail, I always find
The dirty trail you leave behind

Cleaning your love slime, so far from the sublime
Were you showing to shock me with your love slime?
Hosing your hair down, but can't get rid of your sound
Want to mash the memory of your love slime

© 1996 Douglas Chay
All Rights Reserved
ASCAP
Track Name: Inside Lids
The pink pollen is falling from the trees
And floating up my nose it makes me sneeze
The wall clock is chiming out "hello"
And showing me how long I have to go

Then I turn to see the moon in the sky
And I wonder how another day got by
I wanted to do so much and now I only want to cry
But then I realize it's just a film on the inside of my eyes
(surprise)

The dogs copulating on my lawn
So I just wait until I think they're gone
The black birds are circling
and they're screaming at the top of their lungs
I look around to see what could upset them



Then I turn to see my shadow stretch
And all my work still sitting unfinished
I wanted to be so good and now I only want to die
But then I realize it's only a film on the inside of my eyes

Then I wake to find myself the same
And looking out my window nothing's changed
I wanted me so much but now I won't bother to try
Because I realize it's only a film on the inside of my eyes
That's when I realize they're all just films on the inside of my eyes

© 1996 Douglas Chay
All Rights Reserved
ASCAP
Track Name: Thus Spake Shalimar
One hot summer's day
I was feeling a little gay
So I primped upon my hair
and I pulled down my underwear
I went commando

And my little voice said (Shalimar!)
Let's find some trouble (Shalimar!)
That's wearing a jersey sock on a Marine jock

Get up off your knees, that's what he told me
Cause he would rather hold me
Than go on feeling lonely
Thus spake Shalimar!

I don't mean to be a slut
But I just want to shake my butt
All my friends they caution me
They say that I'm embarrassing my self in public

And my little voice said (Shalimar)
I'm gonna do it (Shalimar)
Changing into it
A square cut brief with a red g-string

Get down on your knees that's what he told me
Now that he knows I'm only
Looking for a phony
Thus spake Shalimar!

I don't want to kneel
While pulling down my banana peel
I liked it better when he thought I was real
And he wanted to hold me
Instead of wanting to fill me
Fill me up with all his glory

© 2002 Douglas Chay
All Rights Reserved
ASCAP
Track Name: Lottery
If I picked the right six numbers, I would quit my job the next day
And go downtown to rent the block out, and make everyone else go away
It's not that I don't want to work
But I'd rather remain an amateur

I'd give it to the poor -- Lottery
I'd spend it in a store -- Lottery
I'd smoke it in a pipe -- Lottery
I'd buy myself a life

Yes, I could be so happy with this lottery as my new family
Mom you'd look so good steeping a hundred dollar bag of tea
And when they put it in my account
Keep adding zeroes to the amount

I'd spend it on a meal -- Lottery (get me out)
I'd tell you how it feels -- Lottery (get me out)
I'd blow it in a day -- Lottery (get me out)
I'd give it all away

Watch my wallet swell like a bruise
I'd have more money than I ever could use
I'd pay people off so they would give me respect
I wouldn't have to worry about balancing my checks

I'd give it to a bum -- Lottery (get me out)
I'd even give you some -- Lottery (get me out)
I'd throw it on the bed -- Lottery (get me out)
I'd wear it only my head

Get me out!

© 2002 Douglas Chay
All Rights Reserved
ASCAP
Track Name: Bleeding the Brown Body White
Footman, lover, gypsy, thief
Our classifications provide us no relief
A for America, B for Brazil
C for the cow who distills us into milk

Bleeding the brown body white
They say they can't see you if you're dark as the night
While we're sucking the wet juices dry
Mr. Potato Head is missing an eye

Tic tac toe, one two three
We learn when we're children of our identity
And what makes us real is the way that we are
But if you are you then you won't get very far

Bleeding the brown body white
If they can't tell the difference then you must be alright
While we're licking the pink rice from our seat
Barbie and Ken are surfing out on the beach

Take a little time, get to know your neighbor
See he's just like you
Do you know what to do when he calls your name?
Scream and run away
From day into night
We're bleeding the brown body white

Peter Piper pick a cause
You're out there protesting but you can't change the laws
You might be crying, you could be in pain
But without someone listening, you won't see any change

Until you bleed your own brown body white
So nothing offends within the line of your sight
While you're ripping your hair from your head
You'd rather be lying there asleep in your bed

And you sleep so hard and you sleep so fast
With the rumble around you muffled out through the glass
And you dream of princes that kiss your cheek
A dark sweet nectar for your rotting teeth

From day into night we're bleeding the brown body white

© 1996 Douglas Chay
All Rights Reserved
ASCAP
Track Name: Shrink
Shrink, tell your problems to your shrink
Tell her everything you think
That's what a shrink is for
Fifty, fifty minutes in a chair
And ninety bucks from God knows where
That's more than most people make in a day

Your shrink is your friend, she'll be there for you
If you feel like you want to cry
She'll offer her hand and empathy too
When you're shriveled up inside

Notes, process and content down in notes
So she won't forget what she wrote
In two weeks at your next appointment
She looks at what your body language says
So she can get inside your head
And foster everything to nothing

Now your shrink is your mom, she should cook for you
And give you presents at Christmas time
But she don't love you enough for to do
The things all outside your mind

Don't bitch about your stair cause I don't really care
Don't tell me about your hair, tell it to your shrink
Don't tell me about your sex or why you're gender perplexed
Don't ask me to touch your breast tell it to your

© 1996 Douglas Chay
All Rights Reserved
ASCAP
Track Name: A Whole Nother
I went to the family doctor
Had a pain in my heart
And a lonely feeling up inside my throat

She gave me a prescription
I gave her my credit card
And I sped down to the drugstore with my note

And when I handed it to the man that stood behind the counter
He said, "Boy what you need is not bird seed, but what you've never had
Like a whole nother"

A whole nother face, a whole nother job
A hole in your head filled with corn on the cob
A whole nother house, a whole nother street
A whole nother set of other people to meet

I went to a psychotherapist to see why I felt so bad
And he asked me what I saw in my dreams
I said, "A cantaloupe, three yards of rope and a naked girl in my hand."
He said, "There's my diagnosis, send in the next one please."
Cause all you need to know is in your dreams

And when I asked the receptionist if she was my mother
She smiled and said without her head, "You ought to find the cover
Of a whole nother"

A whole nother sight, a whole nother sound
A whole nother root buried deep in the ground
A whole nother food, a whole nother drink
A whole nother thought impossible to think

A whole nother black, a whole nother white
A whole nother way to fall asleep at night
A whole nother fake, a whole nother real
A whole nother deck of playing cards to deal

© 1988 Douglas Chay
All Rights Reserved
ASCAP
Track Name: Fucked Up
Fucked up, pushed down
Don't you make a sound
Recoiled, or bashed in
There is no way for you to move again

Straight jacket, streamlined, do you remember what's mine?
I'm disappearing every time I poke the pain in my mind
And when I try to recover, try to come back home
All I find's another picture there of me all alone

I want you here but still I push you away, is that OK?
I try to find the words but I can't say
Put a pen in my hand so I can try to write it down
But you can't read my writing
Don't you ditch me just because

I'm fucked up, I'm blown away
For pushing it I'm gonna pay
Bent down, and screwed up
Pouring myself into my own cup

Banging my head till I see spots of red
Though I want you to stop me you're asleep in your bed
And so I cut up my eyes cause I don't realize
That what I'm doing is permanent when the razor collides

I need your help I can't do this myself, can you tell?
I'm letting go of all the things I held
Put a pill in my mouth so I can try to calm down
But I can't stop from shaking and my forehead is sweating
Cause I don't keep forgetting all the times I got burned
But I need someone with me
Don't you drop me just because I'm

Fucked up, I'm shut down
In every direction spread around
Messed up and pinned in
Hovering inches above my skin

Stuffing my face but this food won't replace
All the love that I needed, food won't fill that up
And so I shove up my nose another note of escrow
So I can count all the numbers falling down my throat

I want you here but still I push you away, is that OK?
I try to find the words but I can't say
So I type it on the screen that flickers in front of me
And I phone it to your home and leave it on your machine
But I can't stop from thinking that you're already gone
And I know I'm imposing, don't you leave me just because I'm

Fucked up, I'm belt-whipped
I'm giving myself like a gift
Left alone, and glass cracked
I'm talking about me behind my back

© 1996 Douglas Chay
All Rights Reserved
ASCAP
Track Name: Wide Awake at Five
I can see you in the morning
I feel you in the night
Travel agent supermarket penicillin Palm Beach
Go fast talk telephone push button tone
Out of order cross the border cruise liner air fare
Card credit cash charge Visa mustard MasterCard
Ashes to the well sell another day to go to hell
Bags packed workers sacked bending over bite a back
Taxicab bus wheels hitchhike turnpike automobile
Alimony toast scrape blacker back out on the plate

So long says the pipeman in his brown cedar suit
for his store was burned down by the mafia
And his kids joined the Church and came out
Brainwashed (Scientology, Numerology, Sandy-Strology, Tarot-Cardogy)
Remember the old man with his head on the plate
The silverware bent and melted back into Earth
People will know that their communication
Is not at all what they wish it to be

© 1987 Douglas Chay
All Rights Reserved
ASCAP
Track Name: Mew
I had this dream that you and I were engaged in sexual intercourse
Oblivious to the world
And in this dream the bomb exploded directly outside our window
And as the flesh slipped from our bones

© 1996 Douglas Chay
All Rights Reserved
ASCAP