Menu
home
videos
albums
about
artwork
Dishwasher and the Washing Machine – Douglas Chay
Skinned – Douglas Chay
Under the Tissue Tree – Douglas Chay
Another Pesky Compilation Album – Douglas Chay
Life Inside the Deal Box – Douglas Chay
Please No Profanity – Douglas Chay
Phantom Radio – Douglas Chay
3 Minute Revolution – Douglas Chay
Around the Universe in 80 Minutes – Douglas Chay
Tree photograph: Scott Hollis,
Released: August 21, 1987
Format: Cassette
Originally sold via mail order
Length: 51 minutes
I went to the family doctor
Had a pain in my heart
And a lonely feeling up inside my throat
She gave me a prescription
I gave her my credit card
And I sped down to the drugstore with my note
And when I handed it to the man that stood behind the counter
He said, "Boy what you need is not bird seed, but what you've never had
Like a whole nother"
A whole nother face, a whole nother job
A hole in your head filled with corn on the cob
A whole nother house, a whole nother street
A whole nother set of other people to meet
I went to a psychotherapist to see why I felt so bad
And he asked me what I saw in my dreams
I said, "A cantaloupe, three yards of rope and a naked girl in my hand."
He said, "There's my diagnosis, send in the next one please."
Cause all you need to know is in your dreams
And when I asked the receptionist if she was my mother
She smiled and said without her head, "You ought to find the cover
Of a whole nother"
A whole nother sight, a whole nother sound
A whole nother root buried deep in the ground
A whole nother food, a whole nother drink
A whole nother thought impossible to think
A whole nother black, a whole nother white
A whole nother way to fall asleep at night
A whole nother fake, a whole nother real
A whole nother deck of playing cards to deal
© 1987 Douglas Chay
Michael was a man who lent a helping hand
To anyone who needed it he did the best he can
Til one day when his folks were away he was sitting in his place
When the door knocked down, they beat him to the ground
And broke the bones in his face
Freda was a friend who stayed there til the end
Whenever someone's money ran out
She was there to lend
Til one day she was lost in a crowd
When the people got mad and the people got loud
They ripped her clothes and then they pulled out her hair
But the blood inside was red just like theirs
Posted across the state in 20 envelopes
Her grieving family gave up on all their hope
Now they all wear wigs that clash with their eyebrows
To reinforce the pretense that the pool is not their farm
Gaston was a guy with tears behind his eyes
He worked so hard to earn the pay on his card
But that was no surprise
She called him a heathen liar
She lit up a match and then she started a fire
She burned up his house and then she burned up his brain
So now we can't say which side was insane
© 1987 Douglas Chay
I pressed the Scotch tape on to the Asian fold of my eyes
And as I looked into the mirror I felt a little ill inside
I don't know why the water gets in my eyes
When I see the films of Charlie Chan
With his long buck teeth and his soft shuffling feet
Is that all they think I am?
Hollywood's Charlie Chan
Is that all they can see of a man?
Charlie Chan, Charlie Chan
All the school kids say he runs a street corner fruit stand
I lay down on the counter and the knife entered in my skin
I said "I want a little off here and there I want a little in"
I don't know how long it's been going on
I've been yellow as long as I can tell
And everyone is telling me I'm going wrong that
I'm going down straight to hell
In a can Charlie Chan
From some mystic foreign land
When the shit hits the fan
All that's gonna be left is some seaweed in the sand
Why do you think we all look alike
That any Asian guy must be me?
Why is it that in gaining scholarship we're not considered a minority
How do you think it makes me feel to wear contacts that are blue?
I can't live up to the standards that were invented by you
Like your standard of beauty
Your ethic of eating
Your manner of living
Your basket of brainwash
When they removed the bandage I pulled open my brand new lids
My face was blue and swollen but I looked like someone else's kid
Now I'm mutilated, culturally castrated
For rebelling against a type
That was never you and it was never me
But it made easier someone else's life
Silver screen's Charlie Chan
His lines were written by a white man
Charlie Chan in a van never ran a fish market subway shoe shine flower stand
Charlie Chan, will you ever understand?
Golden hand, Charlie Chan
How you made them think that you're like all Asians
© 1987 Douglas Chay
Oh, white colored cloud
I gently rip the hem of your shroud that's shaking
Oh, light burn of sun
I don't know what it is that I could have done to save me
From the singe of your stare
To take me from the blind of your glare
To waive me from your mourning attire
Cause I'm balancing up here on your wire
Goodbye, Peter Sandwich
You never wanted to sleep on the floor
You're not very old but now your books are sold
And the clothes that you were wearing are now full of holes
Oh, big swaying tree
You'll be there long after me and I'll feed you
Oh, vast stretch of ocean
You've swallowed so many lifetimes of devotion
And you'll swallow still more
You give no one the key to your door
And no one reaches down to your core
And my old words won't echo no more
Goodbye, Peter Sandwich
You always wanted to remove the strain
Of the promise you make
Just to see if you'll break even placing the bet
Without telling us the stakes
Goodbye, Peter Sandwich
You only started to burn up the page
Of the fakers who lie and the criers who cry
Break the glass that appears
On top of a perfect eye
© 1987 Douglas Chay
When the accidental man buys a dozen roses for his wife
He takes them home and puts each one in the 12 best vases of crystalline
But accidentally each vase falls down crashing to the floor
And by some strange coincidence just then his wife walks in the door
She flies into a rage proceeding to claw him with her nails
In a kind of self defense he shields his face with a garbage pail
She accidentally slips and cracks her skull upon the shield
Which lands him in for life without a bond and no appeal
And when he tries to fit it into a bigger kind of sham
It makes no kind of sense to the accidental man
Why the things he does don't ever work out as he planned
Cause he's an accidental man, does the best he can
And he still can't use his hand, broke it in the fan
Will he ever understand the sea controls the sand
That he's an accidental man but his intentions are so grand
When the accidental woman wants to reconcile with her man
She searches and finally finds him melting down his wedding band
So he chases after her in an effort to explain
That he was only melting butter but now she's lost out in the rain
She thinks that someone sees her so she hides out in the shed
Where she meets her aging mother who she'd always thought was dead
And her body goes transparent as she dances round a chair
Chanting incantations while she cuts and dries her hair
And when she tries to make it all so normal and so bland
It makes no kind of sense to the accidental man
Why the things she does don't ever work out as she planned
(repeat chorus)
© 1987 Douglas Chay
I knew a girl blue velvet cats surround her as she talks at the sky
She holds your love so delicately, just a glass obelisk
There within her eyes
She will whisper in your ear
The kind of thing that you'd like to hear
But she says the same things to herself
Cause she's a girl with no eyes, she's a girl with no mind
She's got nothing to say, with her you're wasting your time
She will rip off her wig, and she'll stand in the door
But this girl with no heart doesn't love anymore
I knew a girl who watched the white stars and wrote them all down in her file
She sealed up tight her windows but left her door ajar for the rest of the night
She will tug you on the sleeve
A party that she wants to leave
But you know she'll go home by herself
Cause she's a girl with no eyes, she's a girl with no brain
If you let down your guard she will drive you insane
Watch her take out her teeth while she's pacing the floor
But this girl with no heart doesn't love anyone anymore
She's a girl with no mouth, she's a girl with no soul
Like she'd been shot with a gun that left a deep gaping hole
She will take off her face and she'll hurt you for fun
Cause this girl with no heart doesn't love anyone
© 1987 Douglas Chay
Underneath a melting sky the girls take off their clothes
The thinkers pause to wonder why I pause to blow my nose
I don't ever get done the things I got to do
I can't seem to care about what I've got to get through
Waiting for a message here from you
But nothing ever seems to get on through
I think and finally I decide I wouldn't want to know
You may be tired, well so am I, of eating uncooked dough
I don't ever wonder about things in my head
They don't ever bother me so I leave them alone
If that's okay with you then it's okay with me
I'm waiting here for you you're waiting there for me
And once we're in the queue we're gonna have to see
What we've been waiting for all the forgotten lore
When they open up the door
Oh, that's what we're waiting for
When you need it to be cool you'll find it's always hot
But maybe in my lethargy my love will form a clot
I don't ever let go of things that bother me
I can't seem to make things the way they're supposed to be
If ever when you're down your feet won't touch the ground
I might be there for you if you'll be here for me
And pretty soon we'll flee from the endless debris
The best that we can do is there within our reach
If we'd only pull it through
Oh, there'd be so much that we could do
© 1986 Douglas Chay
I want to feel you with me right now and all over time
I want to feel you in me right now with my mind
Oh yeah, we can be who we are
Oh yeah, just like a pretty star
In the sky, beyond the clouds, beyond the sun
Behind the sky, beneath the dome
Beyond the words and on the curve
Below the blue and under you
And everywhere you'd think to stare
And no one looks cause they're everywhere
And everyone knows but no one says a word
I want you
Want to be with you so I can live
© 1987 Douglas Chay
She called me one day and said that she was my friend
She said that everything's changed and things are not what they've been
She proceeded to break out in convulsive tears
She said the pain that she caused me would be gone with the years
And then she told me she's re-evaluating her relationships
Now that she's had the time to stay away so she could grow
She sent a letter saying she'd really like to see me
And wouldn't that be fun to do the things we used to do
One day after work when it was dark in the sky
She came into my apartment and she mumbled "oh hi"
I asked how did she get in, she said the maid helped her out
I said "I don't have a maid," "well I broke a window out"
She said she'd found a job she saw in the local paper
It didn't pay too well, but isn't that the way it goes
She moved her things in, dragged my furniture onto the patio
She hoped I didn't mind but my belongings took up too much space
I hear her say my name
Can't lose her I can't gain
From her purse she did take
Cans of scent and sprayed my room
Usurped my brain
Stuck me in her glove
We got into the car and drove till we used up the gas
She put my collar on and dug her claws into my back
She said with her cruel smile "life can sometimes be unkind"
"Now that I've found you whole, I'll do my best to crack your mind"
After a while when things had seemed to cool down
To my abode was returning when I heard a strange sound
The sound of something exploding, saw a blaze in the sky
What it was I didn't wonder though I didn't know why
And I wish she'd have never come back
And I don't care to see her again
© 1987 Douglas Chay
Let the singer sing his song and the piper play along
While the dancer leaps and twirls the pretty girls around
For my love is far from me even though right here she be
For my true lovers sake stay awake tonight
Orayereyorreyorayeorayereyorreyoraye
Let the jester tell his jokes the musician pluck his notes
Let the storyteller note of this gray morn
Come all each and everyone see what love has now become
Gather round the box and drink to a resting mind
Orayereyorreyorayeorayereyorreyoraye
And as the wine doth pass your lips remember why you*re drinking it
Let your merriment abound tonight if you're to serve me right
So let the singer sing his song and the piper play along
While the dancer leaps and twirls the pretty girls around
For my love is far from me even though right here she be
For my true love's sake I'll stay awake tonight
And as the wick sinks slowly down just smile and have another round Let your merriment abound tonight if you're to serve me right
Orayereyorreyorayeorayereyorreyoraye
© 1986 Douglas Chay
Once upon a time you well I knew
We both were young and I was too
You wore a hat upon your head
I wore mine on a spider's thread
And now you're gone
When I had a monkey pull my hair
You were the one who put it there
So you could pull it out again
You were a friendly kind of friend
And now you're gone
No one ever made me feel the way I never felt
Everybody says "OK" to anything
Someone somewhere has a paper where it's written down
You were, well maybe that's someone else
Once I think you saw me changing hue I didn't know just to do
It always rains upon the hill
I like the rain and like it still
You were the one who's one with me
I couldn't tell you cause of me
And all the love I couldn't show
When it's too late I'll let you know
And now you're gene
Once upon a time you well I knew
And now you're gone
© 1986 Douglas Chay
Kelly was a girl I met
When she was working at a Chinese restaurant
Her friends all though she was so nice
But that's not what she wanted
So she built up all her hair
And shake it like she just don't care
But someone with a comb put it on her head
And he messed up all of her hair
He messed it up in the front
He messed it up in the back
Real bad side to side
Oh, it looked so slack
And if Kelly were here today
She'd say, how can you send me to my grave
With that hair
Billy was a guy I guess I knew
From a class I took in school
Everyone made fun of him
When they decided he wasn't cool
So he grew out all his hair
And sprayed it like he just don't care
But someone with a brush
Parted on the side
And she messed up all of his hair
She messed it up in the back
She messed it up on the side
Couldn't hide it with a hat
Couldn't find no place to hide
And if Billy were here today
He'd say, how could you leave me that way
With my hair
© 1987 Douglas Chay
The pink pollen is falling from the trees
And floating up my nose it makes me sneeze
The wall clock is chiming out "hello"
And showing me how long I have to go
Then I turn to see the moon in the sky
And I wonder how another day got by
I wanted to do so much and now I only want to cry
But then I realize it's just a film on the inside of my eyes
(surprise)
The dogs copulating on my lawn
So I just wait until I think they're gone
The black birds are circling
and they're screaming at the top of their lungs
I look around to see what could upset them
Then I turn to see my shadow stretch
And all my work still sitting unfinished
I wanted to be so good and now I only want to die
But then I realize it's only a film on the inside of my eyes
Then I wake to find myself the same
And looking out my window nothing's changed
I wanted me so much but now I won't bother to try
Because I realize it's only a film on the inside of my eyes
That's when I realize they're all just films on the inside of my eyes
© 1987 Douglas Chay
Today I watched the TV but it don't interest me
To hear about dcleaning dirty soap scum
Turned on the radio well what do you know
Four out of five recommend sugarless gum
(For their patients who chew gum)
You can't win, where've you been
They're gonna have to notify your next of kin
Don't wonder why there'll be a tear in your eye
They're charging fifty dollars for a glimpse of the sky
I went out there to get some fresh air
But all I got was monoxide
To judge a book by its cover, change it to a different color
All it takes is a little hydrogen peroxide
My doorbell rang, three women sang
And two men robbed my home of everything inside
When I was young, I trusted everyone
Until I found the things they taught me were all lies
What can you do, you're feeling blue
But you can wash it out with this brand new shampoo
My oh my, how time does fly
From a parking ticket to a homicide
So long, says the pipeman in his brown cedar suit
For his store was burned down by the mafia
And his lover took too many sleeping pills
And his kids joind the Church and came out
Brainwashed
I took a ride in my car, but I didn't get too far
Cause the streets were straddled endlessly with road blocks
I looked up at the sky, and then I cried "Oh, my!"
A banner on a plane read "Better bait at Hock's"
I don't know who to blame, does it matter is it all the same
Could it be that it was all my doing
And if we ever talk it out, I think we're gonna have to shout
To make ourselves heard above the roar and ruin
Yesiree, see what it's done for me
Before and after pictures show you everything
I do declare, what's that I see out there
Another metal sound vibrating in the air
© 1987 Douglas Chay
Fucked up, pushed down
Don't you make a sound
Recoiled, or bashed in
There is no way for you to move again
Straight jacket, streamlined, do you remember what's mine
I'm disappearing every time I poke the pain in my mind
And when I try to recover, try to come back home
All I find's another picture there of me all alone
I want you here but still I push you away, is that OK?
I try to find the words but I can't say
Put a pen in my hand so I can try to write it down
But you can't read my writing
Don't you ditch me just because I'm
Fucked up, I'm blown away
For pushing it I'm gonna pay
Bent down, and screwed up
Pouring myself into my own cup
Banging my head till I see spots of red
Though I want you to stop me you're asleep in your bed
And so I cut up my eyes cause I don't realize
That what I'm doing is permanent when the razor collides
I need your help I can't do this myself, can you tell?
I'm letting go of all the things I held
Put a pill in my mouth so I can try to calm down
But I can't stop from shaking and my forehead is sweating
Cause I don't keep forgetting all the times I got burned
But I need someone with me
Don't you drop me just because I'm
Fucked up, I'm shut down
In every direction spread around
Messed up and pinned in
Hovering inches above my skin
Stuffing my face but this food won't replace
All the love that I needed, food won't fill that up
And so I shove up my nose a thousand dollars in snow
And when I miss all my money, wonder where it goes
I want you here but still I push you away, is that OK?
I try to find the words but I can't say
So I type it on the screen that flickers in front of me
And I phone it to your home and leave it on your machine
But I can't stop from thinking that you're already gone
And I know I'm imposing, don't you leave me just because I'm
Fucked up, I'm belt-whipped
I'm giving myself like a gift
Left alone, and glass cracked
I'm talking about me behind my back
© 1989 Douglas Chay